Brought to you by Lynda Stockwell - M.S.W./R.S.W
It can seem that overnight your child has grown up
into a teenager and has changed the dynamic of how they relate to
you. You might not like it! If this sounds familiar, you are
not alone. You are normal and so is your teen....
Teenage years are a time of rapid transitioning through
emotional and psychological changes. There area a lot of hormones
going on which will biologically affect your teen and can influence
attitudes and behaviour. The good news is that it's
normal.
One of the key challenges to parenting a teen is COMMUNICATION.
How you handle your feelings is going to have a big impact on your teen.
Tips to parenting a teen:
-
Try not to take it personally when they reject your attitudes or your ideas or your choices in life. This is normal
-
Show interest in what your teen has to say - what they think and what they feel
-
Be as available to them as you possibly can - at the same time, respect their privacy and their need for time alone
-
Make it as safe as possible for your teen to be honest with you - one of the reasons why teens lie to their parents is when they feel that their parents cannot handle the truth (it can be easy to 'react' negatively to a teen who knows everything!)
-
Even if you are not going to like it, make sure that your teen knows that you still want to hear what they think
WHAT IS CRITICALLY IMPORTANT WITH YOUR TEEN IS TO:
LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN
Consider This:
You have raised this child who has been receptive to your thoughts, your values and your advice. Teenage years are a time of beginning to become independant. The fact that it seems that your child doesn't want to always follow what you say is a good sign that you are doing a great job raising a person who will think for themselves and make great decisions based on their role models in life. Know that you are the most important one and trust that you are doing a great job. Stay connected and stay aware of what they are doing. Don't disengage in decision making but make room for some input from your child.
Important Considerations of any type of therapeutic advice
This advice is general and should be viewed with the intent that Lynda advises based on a typical, average situation. If you are having major struggles with parenting your teen(s) you may want to seek personalized help to support you in your effort.